Oslo Spring

   It was a Saturday evening and on into a late night, early into spring time. My wife was going into Oslo for a girl's night of drinking and dancing with her friend Camilla. I went along only as the designated driver. The night for me was a sober one but far from dull. Elin and I had parked our car near the old fort and met up with Camilla in the center on Karl Johans Gate just around 6P.M. From this point in the evening the two of them went off to do their own thing, and I did the same - taking off on my skateboard to cruise the city. I only skated around for a couple of hours sticking mainly to spots around the Aker Brygge district. This part of the night was pretty much calm. The real excitement came when I decided to cruise back to the car and trade my board for my camera, and head back out into the city on foot to do some shooting. By now the sun was finally starting to set - twilight was coming on and the night air was getting cooler with slight breezes. I walked the city blocks snapping photos in random alley ways, narrow streets, graffiti, old buildings, everything and anything in all my old style. I was still in the Aker Brygge area, the night air was getting colder so I put my hood of my sweatshirt up over my head, as I was setting up a shot a voice from behind me asked the question if I knew what my future held. I turned around to meet Christopher, he was from Australia. At first glance I thought he was some dirty bum - well he may have been homeless but as my eyes re-adjusted under the yellowish-orange street lights and from looking through a camera, I noticed he was pretty well dressed. He was carrying a few plastic grocery bags filled with day old rolls that he said he got from a manager at a Seven Eleven store. He said he was walking around the city handing them out to homeless people. As he handed me one of the rolls, I thought I was in for possibly some deep philosophical discussion - in which I was kind of looking forward to. I sometimes dig random conversations with random folks. But Christopher turned out to be just another born-again christian spouting off how everyone should be born again, and that it's the only way to be saved - to live. I ended up getting wrapped up in the conversation for about an hour. I kept checking the time on my cell phone telling him I had to meet back up with my wife and her friend around 10P.M. - which it was just a few minutes after. He wanted to walk with me but I told him I was going the opposite direction. We shook hands and he gave me another roll to eat. As I took off down the street and went around the corner, I tossed the roll and my phone rang at the same time. It was Elin just checking up on me to make sure I wasn't too bored. By now I was getting a bit cold and decided to go back to the car to take a nap with the heater on to warm myself back up. I had to walk past some hookers to get back to the car. I kept my hood up and stayed to the far right side of the sidewalk to try to slip by un-noticed, but it didn't work out that way. The hooker grabbed my arm and asked if I wanted sex. I told her I only spoke English and I also told her no. As I started to walk away she said something to her other two hooker friends and the three of them started laughing at me. I just continued on back to the car to warm up and take a nap. I layed the driver's seat back with the radio and heat on and went to sleep. I was awakened by a tapping on the window, I sat up and rolled the window down to be face to face with a woman who seemed to be in her forties and quite normally dressed in a sweater, ankle length dress, and a nice hat. She looked like she could be your mom or something and not a hooker as she turned out to be. She asked me if I was waiting or looking for someone like her. I told her no and that I was waiting for my wife. I laid back in the seat again to rest. About twenty minutes later I slightly sat up and looked out the window to the right, and on the sidewalk about twenty or thirty feet away from the car that same hooker who tapped on my window was talking to some older, bald, heavy-set guy. It seemed she found a taker. He pulled her ankle length skirt all the way up and felt her up. She stuck her hand down his pants and did the same to him. As they walked past the car, down the sidewalk to go handle their business, he again pulled up her skirt and stuck his hand in her ass. A few minutes after they walked past the car, another hooker walked by and crossed the street taking her spot on the sidewalk behind me - to the left. Another short while later she caught herself a young gent in search of a "date", and just as they started to walk off, the older hooker and bald guy came walking up the sidewalk back in my direction. The bald guy crossed the street and took off. At the same moment as the hooker was walking up the sidewalk, some young guy drove up - parking his Volvo wagon two spaces away from my car on the driver's side, right as he parked the hooker opened the passenger door and started to get in his car, asking the same question she asked me - are you looking for someone like me? His voice raised up and he told her to get the hell out of his car. She shut the door and took off down the sidewalk again.

   By now it was some time around 11:30P.M. and just as I was laying back in the driver's seat again, I got a text message on my phone from Elin begging me to come save her. She and Camilla had ended up in some high class bar called Emil and Samuel at some private party. She said Camilla was wasted and dancing alone to really bad House-Techno - (dancing alone as in she was the only one on the dance floor). I took off from the car running through the streets of Oslo. I had gotten another text message from Elin telling me what street the bar was on, but when I got to the street the address was non-existent. I stood outside of one building that I could hear loud pounding bass coming from inside, but there was no line of people waiting to get in and the only door I could see was locked. As I ran up and down the street I tried to call her back but got no answer. I continued to call and send text messages while I still tried to find the bar. Some immigrant panhandler asked me for some money, and when I told him I was broke, he said to me, "I know you got something." Then he started to come after me. He was a big dude and I thought I was in for an ass beating. I just kept going my own way and got out of there. A few moments later another immigrant dude walked up to me and asked if I knew where I could get some hash or weed. I smart-assed replied that I wish I knew, then he grabbed my arm and told me to go with him and he could get me some good stuff - just as I pulled free and told him no, that I was good, Elin called me back. As I answered the call and took off running, that dude was yelling for me to follow him to go get the hash. I finally met back up with Elin in the street and she led the way back to the bar. The bar wasn't even on the street she told me - it was actually just around the corner and about half a block up. Camilla was still in the bar and by now there was a cover charge and a dress code. Elin had to send a few text messages and we had to wait quite some minutes before Camilla finally came out. She was really wasted. Elin and I had to be on either side of her, holding her arms helping her walk - fast - getting her to the train station. We didn't make it on time. Camilla had missed the last train of the night out of Oslo to Lillestrom. Now the three of us had to walk quite a long way through the city - back to where the car was parked near the old fort.

   After we brought Camilla home, it was some time around 4A.M. when Elin and I made it home ourselves. We hit the bed - falling asleep immediately.